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  She found her underwear where she left them by her desk and slipped them on over her swollen sex. She flipped the open sign to closed and followed him out the door.

  Out in the open air, she took a deep breath to steady her nerves. The scent of the spruce trees and the faintly muddy smell of the nearby lake calmed her. Huran was nowhere to be found but he’d said he was heading for the North Shore.

  Christienne frowned at his truck that was still parked in front of the office cabin. He wasn’t going to the North Shore on foot. Twisting around, she eyed the two footpaths that led through the forest to the lakeside. Each was a bit of a trek, but which one would Huran take?

  She only debated another moment before choosing the one that was more winding. Huran liked the curving nature of it. Said it reminded him of swimming, the way it went to and fro.

  Christienne watched for fallen tree branches along the path, wishing she hadn’t dressed up for work today. A pair of hiking boots would have helped her move faster. At this pace, she might never catch up to her mate. She considered calling out for him, but nixed that idea fast. Walking the path would give her time to think about what she was going to say.

  Like every mated Mer couple who called Aurora Falls home, she and Huran had a rough go of things in the beginning. A smile crept up her face as she remembered the day they met.

  Her friend Breeze, who ran the town Holistic Center, had convinced her to go out to The Saucy Wench for Miner Night. It wasn’t an official gathering. It was just what Breeze called it when the men who mined the lake for gems came to shore for their break.

  Little did she know at the time, the miners were immortal finned warriors.

  Christienne had been nervous and pulling at her dress where it clung to her curves. She’d always hated the thicker parts of her. But that night, Huran’s eyes were glued to her from the moment she walked in the bar. He didn’t talk to her though, and she wasn’t going to be the one to approach first. She was too quiet, too backward. Some even called her shy. If it wasn’t for her clumsiness, they might have never actually met.

  One vodka-soda spilled on his white t-shirt.

  One glimpse of the scales that no one else could see just below his brawny neck.

  And boom, the world opened up, swallowing her into a pit of desire and passion and… love. She fell so hard for his gruff-but-sweet persona and his strong touch and the way he made her feel perfectly flawless.

  Christienne swallowed hard.

  The idea that it was all falling apart now, when it should be nothing but ups… left her terrified.

  She rounded the last twist in the path before the lake came into view. From a distance, she spotted Huran at the water’s edge, and opened her mouth to call out. But the words fell deaf from her lips as she watched him pull his shirt over his head and drape it over a nearby rock. His boots were already there, and he went for his pants next.

  What the hell?

  She hid behind a tree as she watched him approach the bank. Was he going for a swim? Nude? In broad daylight. He ran out of the office after mind-blowing sex to take a dip? It made no sense.

  Huran walked into the water, broad shoulders weaving with the tide. Christienne held her breath, waiting to see what he’d do. But nothing could have prepared her for what she saw next.

  When Huran’s skin touched the lake, scales formed around his waist, shooting downward over his legs. Before her eyes, his limbs melded together to form a tail and his feet disappeared beneath his flowing indigo fin. He angled his body downward, diving deep.

  And then he was gone.

  Christienne stared at the water, breath chugging, head spinning. She blinked over and over waiting for the clothing on the rock to evaporate or for some other sign that she was hallucinating. After untold minutes, she tip-toed to the pile of his belongings and touched them with her own hands just to make sure they were real.

  She crushed the denim in her fist, testing it, but there was no denying what she’d witnessed.

  Huran shifted. He had the tail, the fin. He was Mer. But they had long ago broken the curse, and he wasn’t bound by the moon cycles. What did this mean?

  She swallowed hard, trying not to cry.

  Their bond… the bond that should have kept him landbound… was it even real? Was their relationship real? She had a feeling whatever this meant, it was his reason for pulling away from her. And what was in the water for him anyway?

  Or who? the little voice in her head that contained all her doubts whispered.

  Huran could shift.

  She knew her lore well. Mer couldn’t go back to the water after the curse was broken. Yet, her mate just did.

  It meant… it had to mean…

  A sob ripped from her throat and she turned back to the woods. They were more broken than she thought, but she couldn’t dwell on what it meant or didn’t mean. Not now. She needed some tea and a quiet place to cry, where no one would judge her and her pregnant hormone riddled psyche.

  She was going to Miggs’. It was the only place in town you could sip tea and leave your worries on someone else’s shoulders without feeling like a bother. And Miggs was a Keeper of Mer lore, so perhaps she could make sense of these tangled emotions.

  Chapter Three

  Huran dove for the bottom of Sapphire Lake, careful to avoid running into other Mer. Most of them were on land for the moon cycle, searching desperately for their mates. The ones who remained in the lake were either sleeping or avoiding the masses for their own reasons.

  He swam past the snoozing serpent who lazily opened one eye as he passed. The dragon who used to live on the mast of the ship they sailed here on, was a gift from the Old Gods and protected the Mer from curious humans finding out about them. Huran had been nervous the first time he returned to the water, wondering if the serpent would recognize him or think him a threat. When the beast didn’t attack, Huran realized just how fucked up his existence was.

  Finding his one true mate was supposed to break the curse that bound him to the lake and return all his human traits. In one respect, it did. He was no longer compelled by the pull of the moon. He could stay away from the water as long as he wished. Except he still had the ability to shift. Could still function and breathe even in the lowest depths. Which meant something was wrong.

  For months he had denied knowing what the problem was, but no longer. He couldn’t. It was hurting his mate. Now he must come to terms with his past. The force that bound him to the lake now wasn’t a witch’s vengeful curse.

  It was something bigger.

  At the very bottom of the lake were the sacred gems that had been there for ages. Since before the first humans. In the early days when he was still an explorer, Tamsin had allowed him and the other warriors to collect the stones as treasure. But they were greedy and took advantage of the goddess’s generosity. One of them even convinced her that he loved her… only to break her heart later.

  A goddess scorned, a curse born.

  But Huran wasn’t here for any jewels.

  Beneath them was something much more valuable.

  He swam to the farthest corner of the sapphire bed where a cross-shaped stone marked the grave of his first born. Only born. Arne.

  He settled beside it and wrapped his tail around the stone. He didn’t know why he was here. To remember. To forget. To say goodbye.

  No, not that. Not yet. He wasn’t ready. A life on land, never to see this place again… Arne again…

  Staring at the place he chose to bury his son, he tried to remind himself it was better that the boy didn’t make it that night so long ago. If he’d remained on the ship, he would have been cursed along with all the other warriors. Huran tried to imagine what it would be like to be forever ten years old. Finding a mate to free him from the lake would have been impossible. Arne would have been forever bound.

  Yes, it was a mercy from the Old Gods surely. But it didn’t make the memories of that night easier to live with. And it didn’t make Huran feel like any l
ess of a failure. He’d failed the boy. Brought him to this place and led him into danger expecting it to make him stronger. Arne paid with his life.

  Huran’s tail whipped the water as he turned to touch the makeshift gravestone.

  He was a horrible father. This was the proof. How could he ever tell his mate that was the reason he’d avoided giving her a child? She thought him to be better than he was. That was his Christy, she always saw the best in people. When he finally got the balls to tell her the truth…

  Goddamn it, this was going to devastate her.

  Huran sat at the gravestone until he knew the sun had set and the moon was high in the sky. He thought about Arne and what the kid would think of his father if he could see him today. He thought of the warrior he was back then, and the spineless shit he’d become. He thought of life before snuppa and how much fuller it was now, with her.

  He knew he had decisions to make concerning his past and what he’d done to Arne, but they wouldn’t be resolved tonight, and he’d already been away from his mate too long.

  Huran brought his first two fingers to his forehead, closing his eyes before touching them briefly to his lips. Then he pressed them to the cross-stone, and said his goodbyes to his son… until next time.

  Next time.

  How many next times could there be before he damaged his bond with Christienne? His chest constricted with the thought as he swam for the surface, and a new determination filled him.

  Never hurt her. Be what she needs.

  By the time he returned to land, the cabin he called home was dark. Huran slipped in, his hair still dripping with lake water, and went straight to the shower to rid himself of his secrets. In the bedroom, he found his mate fast asleep, and peeling back the covers he climbed in beside her. She didn’t stir. Even when he gently pulled her close so their bodies touched. It was how they’d slept since the first time. Her wrapped in his arms. It brought him peace to have her so close, naked skin against skin. As if nothing could hope to come between them.

  He sighed, breathing her in, and let the remnants of the past slip away. Soon, he was asleep. But even in his dreams he couldn’t escape the demons he ran from.

  ***

  Christienne was in a deep sleep. The herbal remedy Miggs gave her had worked like a charm, relaxing her so she could forget what she’d seen at the water’s edge. Even if only temporarily.

  Now she was dreaming. It was the sort of thing where you’re aware you’re dreaming but can’t wake or don’t want to. She’d had plenty like it in her lifetime but never one so clear it was almost like a memory.

  The dream whipped her like a frenzy through the scene of Huran’s people being cursed by the ancient goddess Tamsin. She’d seen it all before, and so much more, when she touched Huran’s scales for the first time. But then, it wasn’t all at once, in the blink of an eye, like now.

  And this time… this time there was something new.

  Or rather, something missing.

  As the dream ship teetered on the choppy water and Tamsin’s lightning filled the Aurora sky, Christienne noticed a blank space in the fabric of the setting. A piece of the boat missing, but not just the boat. It was as if the scene was a living painting and a hunk was taken out of the entire canvas. Beyond what was missing, there was only a gray blotch that moved along with the rest of the story.

  She hovered above, watching as the warriors tried to fight the magic that spread over their ship. Huran, in battle mode was terrifying. From the way he held his sword, poised and deadly. To the way his knowing eyes darted around looking for a target. When they landed on the gray blotch, Christienne took notice.

  Something about that missing piece held him captivated.

  The ship bucked wildly, and she prayed that he could hold on, but in the next moment his eyes went wide and she could see fear down to his irises. The gray blotch disappeared from the dream altogether, and she watched as Huran ran to the edge of the ship, looking over the side. In the same instant, his body began forming a tail for the first time as Tamsin’s spell became a reality.

  “Noooooo,” he roared, and she tried to remember that all this pain had a happy ending.

  But the wind wrapped around her, blowing her backward until she could no longer see him. She could only hear him.

  Noooo.

  Christienne gasped awake to hear Huran’s painful roar, and it took her several seconds to realize he was actually in bed with her making the noise. He jerked to a sit, swinging his legs over the side, and she watched his head fall to his hands as he struggled to catch his breath. Moving slowly, as not to rile him further, she smoothed her hand up his back.

  “Sorry, snuppa. I didn’t mean to wake you.” His voice was rough, unable to be gentle. He was tense. Like he was ready to fight a battle that didn’t exist.

  “Are you okay?”

  “Just a nightmare,” he muttered. “My mind won’t let go.”

  She went to her knees, needing to know what he struggled with. There were enough secrets between them. If she could understand this one, maybe they weren’t as broken as she thought.

  “Let go of what?” she asked, pressing her cheek against his shoulder.

  Huran blew out a hard exhale and some of the tension left his body. “The past, mate. Just… the past.”

  “You aren’t that man anymore.” Not the greedy raider he was before the curse. Not the violent warrior he was.

  Silence filled the room while she waited for more. For anything that could explain what was happening.

  “Christy…”

  “Hm?”

  “I…” Whatever he wanted to say was strangled off, as if an actual fist was around his throat.

  She lifted her head to stare at his profile in the dark. “What is it?”

  Several seconds passed before he answered. “I want to give you everything you desire. You are so… precious to me.” His throat constricted with a swallow and her heart swelled at his words. Precious. He had never said I love you, but she somehow always felt loved. Until today. Until she watched him grow a tail and slide into the water as if they had no mating bond at all. But… precious. He had to mean it, didn’t he? “The family, the brightest future. Everything your heart wants. I want to be the one to give it to you. But what if I am unable to?”

  Unable to. Was that why he kept himself from her? Did he think they wouldn’t be able to get pregnant?

  “Huran…” She should just ask him outright about the shifting. Get it out in the open.

  He turned to look at her for the first time and in the darkness, she could see his eyes flicker with doubt and pain. If it was daylight, he would never let her see him like this. So prideful was her man. And she wouldn’t take that away from him now.

  “You already have everything you need to make me happy.” She pressed her palm to his chest where his heart was. “Right here. I am yours and you are mine.”

  His brow relaxed at her declaration, and he reached for her, folding her in his embrace. “Yes, snuppa,” he murmured. “I am yours, always.”

  Christienne melted against him, feeling at one again, if only for a breath. This was her mate. She promised him forever, on that day many months ago when she got her scales. Her mating mark. She didn’t take that vow lightly. Whatever was happening with him, with them, she knew they would get through it.

  As long as both of them kept trying.

  Chapter Four

  There were many times throughout his extensively long life when Huran doubted his abilities, his smarts, and at times, everything he’d been taught. But he had never doubted his instinct.

  Today, he did.

  He swam as hard as he could, arrowing his fin through the water of Lake Sapphire, the serpent hot on his trail. And the bastard beast didn’t just want to shoot the breeze either. He was out for blood. Huran wasn’t sure what had gotten into the thing since he’d last seen it. In the span of one week since his last visit to Arne’s grave, the serpent had decided he was a threat. Tail or n
ot, it was going to chase him from the water.

  Or eat him.

  And damn it, all he could think about was leaving his mate all alone in the world, never knowing what happened to him.

  Shit.

  Huran headed for the North Shore as fast as he could go, but the serpent was so much bigger and gaining. If instinct could be trusted—and clearly, it could not—he was in the vicinity of a grotto that some of the Mer used to hide in. If he could make it there, the serpent wouldn’t be able to follow him.

  Huran ducked and weaved, aiming to throw the massive beast off, but instead it allowed the serpent close enough to snap. It’s daggerlike teeth caught the very tip of Huran’s tail, jerking him backward in the water, and costing him valuable momentum. With a jerk of his hips, he undulated free and ignoring the pain, he darted for the grotto.

  But the serpent had other ideas.

  The beast whipped its body sideways, slamming Huran with its tail to send him flailing in the opposite direction. He tumbled through the foggy water, trying to get his bearings, but north was south and east was west, and he might as well be trapped in that strange sideways washing machine that his mate insisted they buy.

  Fuck. Find your head, warrior. The words he used to say to Arne when they were training applied to him now. Find your head.

  Huran blinked, knowing there was no time to waste. The serpent would circle around and return to chomp him for good.

  Instead of swimming for the surface this time, Huran dove deeper. Just enough to trick the serpent. When he was far enough away from where the beast expected him to be, he hauled tail in the direction of the grotto. Or at least, he hoped it was the right direction.

  He didn’t wait to see if the serpent figured him out. Soon, the familiar rock formations came into sight. Smooth at first, from the constant encounter with water, then jagged as the shoreline grew closer. There was an opening just large enough for a Mer to squeeze through, and beyond it, the heart shaped grotto.

  It was right there. Juuuust within reach—

  Huran was jerked backward as a vicious pain ripped through his lower half. He tried to roar but sucked in lungfulls of water instead. He was close enough to the surface that his body was confused and wouldn’t breathe right. Mer or human? Human or Mer?